The Valentine’s Day Myth
Yes, I know. Valentine’s Day is all commercialised and you don’t want to be told when to celebrate love and yes, all the restaurants are cashing in on it etc etc. But is there something meaningful that we can gain from an International Day of Romance? I believe there is. It is a reminder to think of all things “romance”, but more importantly, it serves as a reminder to keep the spark alive; to revisit that exciting part of the romance game: Seduction – with a capital S.

Seduce me, please…
Being a lover can be a heady experience of discovery, exploration and delight – at least in the early days of an encounter or romance. It is deeply sensual as all of our physicality and senses are on high alert. It can be full of energy – grabbing you round the waist, pulling you in tight, hands in your hair. Or it can be slow and subtle like a whisper in your neck or a stroke of your pulse. You feel it in your heart, you feel the arousal deep in your loins, your sex. Seduction is HOT. And we want it.

Mystery and Familiarity
Yet how do we keep the excitement and the mystery alive when things become more familiar? How do we retain that beautiful element of mystery? We need to find ways to return to the dance that invites the other in with sensual play, teasing, promises of pleasure. If we cease to lure our lover in once we feel the relationship has been established, once we feel the other “belongs” to us and we to the them, then the spark starts to fizzle out a little. The heat begins to dampen, even though we don’t realize it at the time.

Boredom in the bedroom
Without seduction, without curiosity and attempts to remain playful, we invite boredom into the bedroom and into the relationship. Perhaps sex becomes patterned and less exploratory – we do the same thing in the same way, and we don’t make as much effort. We settle for routine rather than spicing things up again with something new. The danger of this is that we shut our sexuality down, or we go looking elsewhere.

Honest conversations about what is working (or not working) in the bedroom and in the relationship require courage. Even if the offering of truths are done in a conscious and respectful way, they can feel scary for both partners. But if done with sensitivity, we build closeness and we cherish the vulnerability of our partner. From there we can go deeper with more emotion and the energy is freed to flow again. As we share our experience, we offer more of our mind and our heart. Planned with care and love, we reach a deeper intimacy and connection, which in itself can create an ardent erotic response. As we love more deeply, we open ourselves wider to be taken more deeply.

Deepening desire
As mature lovers, the risks we take with our heart may be different, but the call is still to keep seducing each other – over and over again. Whether it’s surprise gifts or trips, adding toys and new forms of play into the bedroom, love letters, hidden pleasures to be discovered around the home or at work, telephone sex with one’s spouse or longtime partner, fantasizing together and acting them out, keep creating. Seduction can take many forms and fans the fire of desire, of arousal. Delicious, sweet seduction – how do you wish to play and to be seduced again?

The cherry on the top
Whatever your choices, we have made our own. And we have seen how the spontaneous purchase of a bottle of Clitoria CBD Arousal Oil has changed the sex lives of many a friend – particularly those in long-term relationships. The final question to you, however, is: How do you Seduce Yourself? We dare you!